Home Aint Were the Heart Is
by Maggie Doyle
Summary: AU Mary comes back to Glenoak with a secret, and very surprising and disappointing secret. When they find out there is more to what seems, how can the Camdems look pass her past? Chapter 2 added!
1. Default Chapter

**Summary- **Mary comes back to Glenoak with a secret, and very surprising and disappointing secret. When they find out there is more to what seems, how can the Camdems look pass her past?

**Story Type- **AU, Angst

**Warnings-** mentions of rape, sex, and lanuage

**Disclaimer- ** I do not own 7th Heaven or the song "The Reason" I know, I'm sad too.

**AN- **This is an AU, meaning, not like the show. Basically, Mary didn't come back from Buffalo and instead moved to NYC. She and her family haven't talked in years. Matt is married to Sarah and Lucy to Kevin. I'm not going to focus much on any other relationships so, sorry. Oh and Jimmy is back, and way different. 

**Story- **

_Mary walked down the road, her head hanging with her hands stuffed deep in her pockets. __10:00__ and it was raining, but she never noticed as the rain became slightly salty. How was she supposed to move on? They didn't care, nor did they want her. _

**A week earlier**

Mary tugged her backpack up on her shoulders as she shifted the tiny girl in her arms. "Now Katrina, will you please be good for Angie?" she asked the baby, in some hope she would respond. She looked up at the woman in the doorway, and smile, "Thank you so much Angie," she said, passing the little girl. She then shrugged off her backpack. "All her stuff is in here, with my number," Mary said. 

"Okay, just, be careful," she then looked at the sorrowful woman, "I can still come if you want me to."

"No, I need to do this alone," Mary said before kissing Katrina and hugging Angie. 

"Suit yourself. Just call me when you land?" 

"Of course," Mary said with a smile. She walked back to her car and before getting in she said with a smile, "thanks again."

"Yeah," Angie said with a wave; then helped Katrina wave her little hand.

As the plane landed, Mary quickly fled to get off. She was about an hour north of Glenoak, and wanted to get there before dark. She was staying at a hotel across town from the Camden house. The hotel was a new one, so she hoped she didn't know anyone who worked there. 

As she got in her rental car, she drove out of the large city. When passing the '30 miles to Glenoak" sign she picked up her cell. Dialing Angie's number she listens for the long ring. 

"Hello?"

"Let's see, I can see trees for miles, about two farm houses and then bunches of grass. Very beautiful change," Mary said with a smile hiding in her voice.

"Sounds like it," Angie said with a tiny laugh. 

"How is she?" Mary asked as she drove past a cow ranch.

"She is sleeping right now," Angie said, "but she's been great."

"That's good," Mary said with a smile, brushing a strained of her soft brown hair out of her face. Mary had changed a lot since her family had last seen her. She lived in New York City and her hair faded back to its original brown. She had grown it out, and now had small glasses. She was holding a job at a law office as a secretary and lived in an apartment in a nice neighborhood. She was quickly befriended by Angie, a girl about 22, who owned the café she spent most her mornings in. Angie was from a small town in Texas, who had short auburn hair, natural brown hair, and was the sweetest person she new. Angie was from the perfect family, but was the rebel until she moved to New York. Though they had so much in common, it was more than anyone could fear. 

"Are you ready for this?" she asked.

"No, but I have to do this," Mary said.

"Well, I'm here, twenty four seven, okay. Don't be afraid to call," Angie said before they said their good byes. Mary held her breath as she pulled in the city's limits. She followed the directions she was given to the hotel. After parking her car, she got out of her car and checked in. Getting her stuff up to the forth floor was easy compare to the using the "key". She piled her stuff in, slowly unpacking her four days worth of clothes, she hung them up, and turned off the lights as she lay by the phone, questioning if she should call tonight. 

By now, Mary had been deciding wither or not to call for two hours, and the last bit of night faded with the darkness, only to be replaced with the different street lights. But, Mary was still at a lost. Her head was telling her yes, but her hear screamed no. She decided she would call in the mourning, because she feared she might wake up the twins. 

When the morning came, Mary got up at 6 sharp, like she has been doing for a year now. She showered and went down for some coffee. After fully dressed in tight jeans and a white blouse, with her hair pulled back in a messy bun and glasses on, she sat on the bed. Finally she got the courage to pick up the phone. Dialing the number she had been trying to call the past two years, she waited for the on coming hello. 

"Camden residence," she heard a younger boy say. It must be one of the twins, she said with a sigh. 

Not knowing what else to say, she started politely, "Can I please speak to your mother or father?"

"Yeah, hold on," the unfamiliar voice said. She heard the young boy call out, and Annie yell she will get it. 

"Hello?" the voice said with little chirper. 

"Um… it's… its Mary," she started, her voice shaking.

"Oh my…" Annie mumbled. "About time you called. Do you know…" Mary cut her off.

"Okay, I realize you guys are mad, but I really need to talk to you… to all of you. I'm in town, staying at a hotel," Mary said. The way Mary talked; it made it sound as if she was talking to a stranger. But in a way, that was what she was doing. 

"Okay," Annie said after a moment. "Come over around five. I'll get everyone over."

"Thank you," Mary said, smiling, a letting out the breath she held in.

"Mary, we did miss you," Annie said, before silently hanging up. Mary followed the actions and wiped away tears that threaten to spill. She got up and grabbed the keys to her rental car. Upon saying goodbye to the teenager at the counter, she left, heading to Eddie's for old times.

"What would you like?" a waitress asked.

"What do you have on tap?" Mary asked.

"Well, we have Bud Lite, Budweiser, and Cooler Lite," she said, flipping open a small note pad.

"All have a coke then and a veggie burger," Mary said softly with a smile.

"Okay. It will be about ten minutes," the young girl said.

"Thanks." Mary sat there, looking around. The hall was filled with couples, teenagers, and a few adults chatting together. 

"Mary Camden?" a voice asked. She looked around to see Jimmy Moon, grown.

"Jimmy?" she asked.

"I thought you left town?" he asked. 

"I did," Mary said with a smile. She noticed Jimmy was more grown up. He looked much older. 

"So, what are you doing back in town?" he asked, taking a seat.

"I see we've grown out of the shy stage," Mary laughed. 

"Oh bringing back high school, such cruelty," he joked.

"So what are you doing now?"

"Well, I'm actually opening a practice," he said, eyes smiling.

"Wow," Mary mused.

"So, you never answered me, what are you doin' in town?"

"Well, I'm actually here to visit," she said, eyes widening.

"Really, where are you living?"

"Well, right now, New York City. I have a job at a law firm and taking night class," she said.

"Impressive," he said, smiling. Jimmy Moon quickly faded off the little boys list of Mary's. That, he was defiantly not. 

"Well thanks. Its works for now, keeps my girl and me safe," Mary said, forgetting she was in Glen Oak, the town that specialized in getting gossip from one end to the other in the matter of minutes. Her eyes got real wide and looked up at Jimmy.

"Your secret safe with me," he said, smiling. 

"Thank you."

"So, are you married?" he asked.

"No… but it's not how it sounds… I mean…" 

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," he said. Mary just smiled. "You know, you are still beautiful," he said.

"Still?" she asked, taking the coke from the waitress.

"Yeah," Jimmy said for a moment.

"You mean Jimmy Moon had enough time to look at someone for a second besides Lucy," Mary teased. 

"I'll have you know, there was a time I was completely obsessed with you," Jimmy said, embarrassed. They both started laughing. After about three sodas between them, two pool games, and ten pinball games they said their good-byes and she gave him her cell number and the hotel name. 

Mary pulled up in the drive way. Two till five. Breathing in, she stepped out, and walked towards the door. She noticed that there were a few more cars than before. Upon ringing the doorbell, Annie opened the door. Hugging her daughter, she let Mary in to the house full of many hate filled people. Matt was there, near an unfamiliar girl by a grown Ruthie and two twins. Lucy was being held from behind by a taller man, and her dad stood still, off from the side. Quietly, Eric went to hug her daughter, followed by Matt. They hadn't seen here in over five years, five long years and weren't going to waste another second. Simon came from the kitchen and just glared at Mary, the same glare that was shown on Lucy's, Ruthie, and the twins. After a long moment of silence, Annie spoke.

"This is Matt's wife Sarah, and this is Lucy's husband Kevin," she said. Sarah shakes hands with her, and as Kevin tried, Lucy elbowed him. 

"You, know what, I shouldn't have come. I knew this was a bad idea," Mary said, turning around. 

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," Lucy said.

"Mary, you will not leave that door. You will not run away again," Annie said sternly. 

"Run away!" that pissed off Mary. "I'm sorry; you guys are the one that shipped me away. You guys didn't want to deal with your screwed up child!" she yelled, tears trickled slowly down her cheeks.

"Oh, and you couldn't figure out how to use the phone?" Simon asked.

"Screw you. I don't remember any of you guys calling. They just stopped one year if I recall," Mary said harshly.

"Everyone shut up!" Eric said loudly. "Now your mother has prepared a wonderful meal in the kitchen and we are all going to go in there and eat it. And enjoy it!" he said, jaw firmed. Everyone complied. After passing out everything, saying blessing and taking a few bites, Mary looked up at her mom. 

"This is really good. Thanks," Mary said sheeply.

"Of course," Annie said with a smile.

"So, where do you live?" Matt asked.

"Um… right now I live in New York City. I'm working at a law firm there," she said with a smile. 

"Oh that's great," Eric said, forcing a smile. Though nobody wanted to admit it, beside Lucy, Simon, Ruthie, and the twins, Mary wasn't welcomed. When supper was ended, they all helped with the dishes and met in the living room. Silently they looked upon each other.

"Okay, I really don't know what to say," Mary said, before going through her purse. She pulled out a picture of her and Katrina. 

"This is your grandchild, Katrina Maria Camden," Mary said softly. 

"Oh my Lord! You slut!" Lucy blurted out. Mary just shook it off. 

"Mary how could you? You aren't even married! Do you even know who the father is?" 

"No, but…" Mary couldn't say it. 

"No wonder mom and dad never talked about you," Sam said harshly. The harsh words kept coming, each pulling out apart of her. They continued for about two minutes when Mary pushed her way out of the house, and drove to the hotel, tears flowing non stop. 

When she got back, she called Angie. 

"Well did you tell them everything?" she asked.

"I couldn't. I didn't have much of a chance, and when I did…" 

"It's okay Mary. Just, give them some time. They can't be mad forever," Angie said.

"You really don't know my family," Mary joked, attempting a laugh. At ten, they hung up and Mary turned on the TV. Flipping through the channels, she gave up and turned on the radio on the alarm clock. 

"Country…no…" she turned the dial until she heard "The Reason."

"_I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

_I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you"_

She sang the last of the song, lying on her bed. After changing into a robe, she filled up the tub, and took a long bath.

Mary woke up suddenly, memories from yesterday forgotten for the brief moment. She looked at the clock. Two till noon. Perfect. She took a quick shower and put on a perfect fitting tan sweater and black sweats pants. Braiding her last braid, she wrapped a band around it and fiddles with some blush. As she was about to walk out the door for some coffee, she heard her cell ring.

"Hey," she said. 

"I have no idea why I called," she heard the voice she immediately recognized as Jimmy Moon's. 

"Hello to you too," she teased. 

"Okay, I know this might be sudden, but have you eaten yet?" he asked.

"Um… truth, I just woke," she admitted. 

"Oh… well, if your up to it, there is this great place that came in about a year ago," Jimmy said, smiling, forgetting she couldn't see his flirting. 

"Well, um… I don't… okay, can you pick me up?" Mary said, shutting her door to go down stairs. She walked down the stairs still talking to him. 

"Sure, meet me in the lobby," he said. When she walked out the door, he was standing there, smiling a rather cheesy smile. She smiled and followed him outside silently to his car.

"So, did you talk to them last night?" he asked. 

"Yeah," Mary said, sadly. 

"You don't need them you know," Jimmy said. 

"You don't at all sound like the Jimmy that used to chase around Lucy," Mary said with a hint of a smile.

"I'm not," he said looking at her.

They headed to a café outside of town on a farm like location. They spent afternoon there, and moved out to the golf course at about two. 

"I got to tell you I'm not very good at this," Mary said. 

"I gotta tell you neither am I," Jimmy said. They laugh as they tried hard, until they gave up and went to miniature golf.

They left around six to go find fast food. After parking outside the hotel, Jimmy went in to kiss Mary, but she quickly pulled away, her face frightful. 

"Please don't," she said, fidgeting with the door to get it open. 

"Wait Mary!" Jimmy called, kicking himself for the idiotic move. She didn't response to the call, but instead ran into the hotel and up the stairs.

Mary wiped away the tear forming in her eyes as she sat cross legged on her bed. She hated to do it Jimmy, but right now, this was the last thing she needed. If any of the Camden's found out, she would never be allowed in the house. She was pulled out of thought by her cell ringing. Expecting it to be Angie, she answered it.

"Hey," she said her voice forcefully cheery.

"Mary, please," she heard Jimmy plead. "You can't bring me in then just push me away. It's not fair, and it's just…" Mary cut him off.

"Come up here," she said flatly. "But only if you promise what happens it will never leave the room." Not sure what to say, he gave a quick be right there, and raced up the stairs.

Mary heard the knock in about thirty seconds from hanging up. She opened the door mute and left to the bed, silently asking him to shut the door and follow her. 

"Okay, the real reason I came back is not just to visit. It's about my girl. They didn't know. I mean, I couldn't call them, and I had Angie there, so I figure that I didn't need them," Mary said, tears forming.

"Oh…" Jimmy said. Jimmy knew Mary's recorded, and the fact that they never really forgave her, but instead kicked her out. "There's more," he more stated upon seeing Mary sorrowful eyes. She nodded.

"I'm... I was… when in New York I met Angie through a support center," Mary said, not sure how to say it.

"What? Like drugs?" he asked, trying not to sound to mean.

"No… um… for women who have been…" Mary never had to finish that sentence. Jimmy was a smart man, and he had dealt with it before. He sat down by her and she just started crying into her shoulders endlessly. Jimmy comforted her to the best of his abilities until she fell asleep. He then laid her down, and put sheets over her and took one to cover himself as he slept on the chair. 

"Jimmy?" Mary called his name. She was dressed, but her hair was still wet. 

"Hmm… What?" 

"Thank you," she said, giving him a small kiss. 

"What time is it?" he asked, realizing it was a Monday.

"Seven, I figured you had to work," she said with a smile.

"Are you okay? I mean I can stay if…"

"I'm fine, " she said, sitting on the edge of the oversize bed.

"Alright," he said, folding up the blankets. "Meet you for lunch?"

"Umm… actually, I'm going to try to talk to Annie," Mary said, clearly using her mom's first name. But she wasn't her mom. Moms were supposed to love you. They were supposed to be there. They were supposed to care. 

"Alright, I'll call you around four," he said, smiling before he left. 

Mary tried the home number. 

"Camden's," Eric said. 

"Um… is Annie there?"

"Mary?"

"Oh, hey Eric," Mary said sadly.

"Dad," he corrected her. "And know, she is not here, but you can still talk to me."

"Well… I mean, I know you're busy and…" Mary started.

"I can make time," he said. 

"Oh… now you can," Mary said harshly. She hated talking to him, but she knew she had to. This time, she was only going to think about herself.

"Mary, I don't know when you ever got the idea that you could talk to your dad like that," Eric started.

"When you guys kicked me out. Or it could have been around the time you guys stopped caring. Sorry Eric, but you are not my dad," Mary said harshly.

"I'm not the one that is a complete screw up," Eric said, regretting the words that came quickly out of his mouth.

"You know what, I have changed my life. I'm a good person, and if you or any one else can't see that, you really need help. I would love to see try to go through half the stuff I do daily. Now, where can I call Annie?" 

"Try her cell," he said, giving up. He already blew his chance. He gave her the number, and they said their goodbyes.

"Annie," the voice answered.

"Hi, um… it's Mary," she started.

"Yes," was all she said.

"Okay, you know what, I'm sick of this," Mary mumbled. "Tell everyone I said hi and that I love them, even if it is one way," Mary said, before hanging up. She quickly threw the cell on the bed. Then, packing up her stuff, she got ready to leave, forgetting all about Jimmy. 

After checking out, she drove north to the airport. She fumbled through her bag to get her cell.

"Angie?" she asked, as the ringing stopped.

"Ohmigosh Mary, what's wrong?" Angie asked over a baby crying.

"I'm coming home early. Can you call and change my tickets please," she asked, turning down the music.

"Yeah, sure. That bad," Angie asked, knowing the answer.

"I didn't even get to tell them the reason. I guess they are worst than I thought," Mary said with a laugh. 

"Honey, don't give up on them. They're just… okay, you're right, they are that bad," Angie agreed. 

"Well, I better concentrate on the road. Call me when you change?"

"Of course. Love you hon," Angie said, hanging up.

The drive there was endless. The plane ride was even longer. Mary sat by a little girl who she found could not sing and was on her first plane ride ever and without her parents.

When landing, Mary searched frantically for Angie at the airport, upon not finding her, she got her bags and searched again.

"There you are," Angie said cheerfully. 

"Where were you?"

"Restroom," she blushed.

"Typical." Mary was handed Katrina right away before they walked back to Angie's car. 

"So, how bad was it?" Angie asked as they waited for the million cars.

"Well, the part with my family was horrible..."

"But?"

"I ran into an old friend. Well Lucy's old friend, Jimmy Moon."

"Moon? What kinda name is Jimmy Moon?"

"You are so childish sometimes. Anyway, he was the only one that knows there," Mary said, looking at Angie.

"Will he tell?"

"When the time is right I'm sure he will," Mary said. They drove for about an hour until the reached a McDonalds. They both order a shake and two extra large fries before the twenty minutes to Mary's apartment. 

Dropping her off, she waved slightly before driving off to her place.

"Kat, I promise no matter what I will love you," she said, putting her daughter in her cradle. 

"Love," the little girl struggled to get out her first word ever. Mary was speechless with joy. 

"Very much so," Mary gleamed. She kissed her baby before heading to her room, which was more or less a different side of the room, and turned off the lights. 

**Meanwhile in Glenoak**

"Can you pass the corn?" Simon asked his mom. The whole family was over for supper, and it was crazy. Everyone knew why they were invited, but no one wanted to start. Silenced filled the room slowly but ever so creepishly.

"Okay, why don't we just get this over?" Matt asked, annoyed.

"Why are we even spending time on her? I mean, I know it doesn't sound right, but we could say she's dead," Lucy suggested. Everyone in the family knew Lucy was hurt most by the 'Mary ordeal'.

"Lucy!" Annie snapped, glaring at her daughter.

"Face it mom, she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is! Besides being completely gross, it's a sin. She isn't worth…"

"Lucy!" Annie yelled again.

"Mom she's right. Now she just skipped town," Matt started.

"What? How do you…" Eric asked.

"I tried to talk to her yesterday. Unlike you guys, I think there is more to this story," Matt said, pissed at everyone. 

"That little…"

"RUTHIE!" Annie yelled at her other daughter.

"I say we just forget she exists, it has worked so far," Sam said.

"Okay, I know I wasn't around when all this happened, but from what I see Mary's right. You guys pushed her away. I've gotten to know this family so well, and I've never thought of any of you to do something that harsh, but… I mean, I know people change, and unless any of you know otherwise, maybe she has to," Sarah said, brushing back her hair. They all sat in silence as they took in what she said. The silence was intruputted by the kitchen door flying open. 

"Where's Mary?" a voice asked.

"Jimmy?" Lucy asked, surprised.

"Where's Mary?" he repeated.

"She left town," Eric said.

"Damn it! You know, I thought she was just crazy," he said, shaking his head in anger. 

"What?" Annie asked.

"Jimmy, how did you know Mary was in town?" Lucy asked.

"I saw her at Eddie's. We had dinner a few times," Jimmy said.

"Oh, she's getting in your pants too?" Simon asked harshly.

"Shut up! Mary was to scarred to let me kiss her! You people were suppose to be there for her. She needed you!" Jimmy yelled.

"Okay, who the hell do you think you are coming in here like this?" Simon asked.

"Well for starters, I'm the only one in this house, in this town who knows her real story," Jimmy said. 

"What do you mean?" Ruthie asked.

"She was raped. Raped damn it! She was a virgin before that. She has had to deal with that with only the help of a friend. Now you still think she's the screw up?" Jimmy asked. Lucy just looked at Jimmy. Where did the cute, quiet boy go? This was not the Jimmy she dated so many years ago. Not one bit. 

"Ohmigosh," Annie mumbed, terrified. They were all terrified, but at the same time mad. Annie, Eric, and Matt were mad at themselves. David, Sam, Sarah, Kevin, and Simon were mad at the man who did this to here. And Ruthie and Lucy, they were shamefully mad at Mary. When getting no other response, Jimmy stormed out, planning on catching the next flight to New York.

**Back in NYC**

"I'll see you at three?" Ms. Jones asked. Debbie Jones was Mary's neighbor and Katrina's babysitter on the weekends. 

"Yeah," Mary said with a smile, heading to the clinic.  

Pulling up to the clinic, she got out slowly, shutting the door while breathing in. She help work there on weekends after a group session. Pulling her purse close, she opened the door to be greeted by two very sad faces.

"Who died?" Mary joked. Upon getting worst reactions Mary got scared. "Ohmigosh, who died?" 

"You didn't hear? The ass that raped Angie got out and attacked her. She is in a coma right now," Phoebe said, wiping a tear. Angie meant a lot to all of them. She was one that was always there. Mary quickly started to shake. 

"This can't be happening," she repeated over and over again.

"Mary honey," Kate said, rushing over to her.

"She was there for me," Mary said.

"We're here for you," Kate said softly. "Honey, we are always her for you."

"I know, it's just… She helped me go back to Glenoak and talk to my parents," Mary said, tears forming. 

"Mary, go see her. I'll drive you," Kate said, leading her outside to her car. 

Mary sat alone in the hospital room for about an hour. Angie looked so peaceful. Her right eye was swollen shut. Her arms had cuts all over them, while the rest of her body was covered. How could he do this to her? That bastard. 

"Ms. Camden, we are going to take her for surgery. You can stay here if you wish," the nurse said politely. 

"No, I'll come back later," Mary said, getting up as she wiped a tear. She looked at her watch. Two. "Shit," she mumbled. Quickly she raced to her car to head back to her apartment about 20 miles away. 

"Hey Mary," Debbie said, opening the door. 

"Was she good?" Mary asked stepping in.

"They both were," Debbie said with a smile.

"What?"

"This young man came to see you," she said, leading her to she Jimmy.

"Jimmy!" she said happily. She rushed to hug him as Mrs. Jones watched in the back round.

"I'm sorry," he said, wiping away a tear.

"Shh…" Mary said. Mary, Katrina, and Jimmy left Debbie's apartment to Mary's. Mary sat on the couch with Katrina on her lap and Jimmy sat on a chair to the table.

"She looks a lot like you," Jimmy said. Katrina had Mary's smile and hair, but besides that, she was darkly tanned and dark, dark eyes. 

"Thank you," she said. 

"Love!" Katrina squealed happily. They both giggled.

"She learned her first word last night," Mary smiled, but it was quickly faded. 

"What's wrong?"

"Do you remember me telling you about Angie, my friend up here?"

"Yeah," Jemmy answered, concerned. 

"Well, the guy that raped her got out and went to her for revenge. She is in a coma and terribly beating up," Mary said, crying. 

"Oh, Mary…" he said, moving to the couch. She leaned against him and they sat like that for about an hour. Mary loved the way she felt around him. It was the first bit of comfort that she has had for a long time and planned on staying like that until God forced them apart. 

That time ended up being about six that next mourning. Angie had passed away at five thirty. A nurse who had met Mary earlier in the year called Mary as soon as possible. Mary rushed to the clinic to be met by Jamie and Phoebe. 

"Where is everyone?" 

"They haven't got here yet, why?"

"Um… you guys… Angie… well Angie passed away," Mary said, holding back tears. 

"No! Did that jack…" Mary cut off her worries.

"No, she died peacefully in her sleep," Mary said, actually smiling. "I'm going to the hosipital right now, I will give you both a ride," Mary offered. While Phoebe was twenty, Jamie was only 16 and didn't have her license, so Mary was the older one there. 

"Okay, I'll leave a note for Jackie when she gets here," Phoebe said. They all hurried out the door, locking up and heading down to St. Joseph to meet with a doctor that could tell them the full story. 

About two hours later they left, all in tears. Angie didn't have any family up in New York and the closest was Texas. They had been informed and were coming up to meet with the police and then Mary after that tomorrow. The clinic had a memorial in her name that day, but sadly the only people who came were girls from the clinic, some of there boyfriends, and Jimmy. It was about eight o'clock and Mary and Jimmy where in her apartment, both eating a rather large bowl of Moose Tracks. Katrina was in bed and actually stayed quiet for once. And Mary again felt peaceful, despite all of the drama of the day. 

They were awoken by a rapping at the door at seven. Both of them fell asleep on the couch, ice cream bowls in hand. Mary, setting down hers, went to the door. She opened it slightly to see Matt and Simon. Silently letting them in before waking up Jimmy, she led them in towards the couch before being brought in to a hug by both Matt and Simon. 

"Since I know you guys didn't come here to do that, why are you here?" she asked a little to harshly.

"We know," Matt said.

"No, you don't know anything," Mary said harshly.

"Mary," Jimmy said, not wanting a fight.

"Mary why didn't you tell us?" Simon asked after a moment.

"Because, you guys didn't deserve to have to go through all of this. I was selfish of even coming down there," Mary said softly. 

"WHAT?" Matt asked, completely not expecting that. "Mary, you didn't deserve to go through all of that alone," he said, hugging her. "You have a big family for a reason." There was a long moment of silence until Mary went to the side room and picked up Katrina, ready to show Matt and Simon. 

"She is so beuitiful," Matt said after holding her. Mary just smiled, acting like any proud mom would. She had no hate, a little anger, but no hate towards Matt and Simon. They came to find her, which, while they weren't the best at the house, meant they did care, right? 

"How old is she?" Simon asked, taking his turn in holding the child. 

"9 months and 4 days," Mary said brightly. Matt kept hold of the child as they all sat down to talk, even with Jimmy.

"Mary, when did it happen?" Matt asked.

"About two years ago. I stayed late after work, he pulled me in a alleyway and…" Mary wiped her eyes as if there was a tear, but there weren't. For once, she was happy while telling this. 

"Is he in jail?"

"I'm not sure," Mary said sadly.

"Mary, you know," tear, "you didn't deserve this," Matt said.

"With as many times as I've screwed…"

"NO. Mary, nothing could have made you deserve this. You don't even deserve to have to put up with us as brothers," Simon said softly. Mary smiled and leaned back on Jimmy who was playing with her hair.

"Will you ever forgive us?" Matt asked.

"I am already starting on it. Its hard, ya know, but I think it will take time. Funny thing is I had forgiven you before I went down to Glenoak," Mary said, wiping a tear that was hidden by a soft laugh. Jimmy started rubbing her back softly at the rate of her steady heart. 

Okay, that was it. Please, I won't add if I don't get an okay response. 


	2. Explain the pain

**Summary of this chapter- **Mary tries to shows Simon and Matt what she goes through each day.

**Story Type- **AU, Angst

**Warnings-** mentions of rape, sex, and lanuage

**Disclaimer- I** do not own 7th Heaven or Subway, or Pepsi… I do own Katrina Maria and Angie and the story!

**AN- **Thank you so much Josie! This one is for you!

**Story-**

**Last chapter…**

"Mary Camden?" a voice asked. She looked around to see Jimmy Moon, grown.

"Mary, you will not leave that door. You will not run away again," Annie said sternly.

"Runaway!" that pissed off Mary. "I'm sorry; you guys are the one that shipped me away. You guys didn't want to deal with you screwed up child!" she yelled, tears trickled slowly down her cheek.

"This is your grandchild, Katrina Maria Camden," Mary said softly.

"Do you remember me telling you about Angie, my friend up here?"

"Yeah," Jimmy answered, concerned.

"Well, that guy that raped her got out. She is in a coma and terribly beating up," Mary said, crying.

"Angie passed away. She died peacefully in her sleep," Mary said.

She opened it slightly to see Matt and Simon.

"Will you ever forgive us?" Matt asked.

"I am already starting on it. It's hard, ya know, but I think it will take time. Funny thing is I had forgiven you before I went down to Glenoak," Mary said, wiping a tear that was hidden by a soft laugh. Jimmy started rubbing her back softly at the rate of her steady heart. 

**10:00**** the night before**

"Matt, I can't believe this…" Sarah said, hand cupping her mouth.

"God, this is all my fault. I should have…"

"Matt, stop it!" Sarah screamed at him. "You always do this!" 

"What, you don't…"

"I'm going to tell you what I know. Ever since I've known you, something bad happens to your family and it's your fault. For one dame moment will you stop thinking about yourself?" Sarah screamed.

"Sarah…"

"Don't you give me no Sarah. I'm sick of it. You are a grown man with money. Would it really be that hard to go chase your sister, because I have a strong feeling if you don't now, then you won't get another chance…" Sarah said, finally sitting on her bed. They sat there in silence, neither one knowing what to say. 

"Will you go with me?" he asked, after taking the seat beside her. She looked at him with more than loving eyes.

"Matt, it's not my place. This is one of the demons you have to face," she said, kissing him before leaving.

"Camden's… this is Simon," the other line answered.

"Simon, I'm going to New York. You need to tell mom in about an hour so I'm already gone," Matt said from his side of the phone.

"Matt?"

"Simon, I have to go…"

"I'm going with you, the young man said."

"No."

"Matt… I feel just a bad. Please…"

"Fine, meet me at the park and leave a note…" Matt said, sighing as he did a U turn. 

**Back to where we were**

"So, does mom and dad…" Mary trailed off.

"I'm sure they do by now," Simon said, watching his big sister fix some tea. 

"That's just great…" She then looked at Matt. "Sarah's really pretty. How long?"

"A little over a year from are first wedding…"

"Huh?"

"We eloped…" Matt said, gulping.

"See, there is proof I'm not the only one who defies them."

"No one says you were," Simon pointed out.

"Tell that to the Colonel. Did he even tell you guys I left his place?" Matt and Simon looked at each other. They never really thought about it. The Colonel never did bring it up though. "Thought so…" Mary sniffed, cracking some eyes.

"Mary… it's hard for them too. I mean, I know how selfish this sounds but… you did just kind of spring on the news…" Simon said. Mary stayed silent as the eggs hissed on her pan. About two minutes later they all shared some eggs and tea in silence. 

"Jimmy, do you mind watch Kat for a day, I want to show Matt and Simon some things," Mary asked. 

"Yeah, sure…" Jimmy said.

"Thanks," she said, kissing him. She went on to explain where everything is, including the fact that Debbie was across the hall if anything.

Matt, Simon, and Mary left in Mary's car, Matt in the front seat. They pulled up about ten minutes later to the clinic. Leading them in, Mary got out of the car and walked off.

"Kate," Mary said, walking in, greeting her friend. "This is Matt and Simon, two of my brothers…" Mary said, trailing off. Kate smiled, knowing the full propose of this visit. The two buys gave weak smiles as they were led up the stairs. "I volunteer here every chance I get. I help with groups and am part of most of them. I am usually in charge of fixing up the crib," Mary said, leading them into a larger size room with bunk bed like cots. One younger girl, about fourteen, was sleeping on the bed, face stained red. She woke up upon hearing Mary gather the sheets. 

Startled, she tried hard to back away, and fell off the cot.   
"Honey, calm down," Mary said, helping the girl. The girl steadied until she noticed Matt and Simon. "It's okay, honey, they won't hurt you." Mary said softly, arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. She looked at the two boys. "There is a quickie mart down the street. Will you get me a Pepsi and her a…"

"Coke," the girl said softly after she realized they were waiting on her reply. 

"Sure," Matt said as they both walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry about that honey. They didn't mean to scare you…" Mary said, helping her on cot. 

"What's… what's your name?"

"Mary," she said, smiling. "When did you get here…" she said, realizing she didn't know the girls name either.

"Lucy," she offered. "About… midnight…" 

"What a pretty name. My sister's name is Lucy too," Mary said. The room went silent. "Well, do you want me to call your parents? I'm sure they're worried."

"Please don't…" the girl said, shaking.

"Hmm… how about this: we get you washed up and get some different cloths on, and then I take you home. I won't even come inside if you don't want me too," Mary said, smiling. The girl nodded.

"Can we get something to eat first?" Lucy asked.

"Sure," Mary said, leading her to the wash room. As Lucy took a shower, Mary got her clothes that she thought would fit. 

Matt and Simon waited in the lobby for Mary to come back. Jamie had left to get her about a minute ago. 

"Hey, um… you guys, I am going to take Lucy home after getting her some lunch," Mary said, as they handed her the sodas. "Thanks."

"Mary, we're okay, right?"

"Yes," Mary said, kissing him on the cheek. "There are some great places about a two blocks away. Do you guys have a cell?" They exchanged numbers and promise to meet at two, or when Mary called.

"Ready to go?" Mary asked Lucy, handing her the soda.

"Thanks… um yeah," Lucy said, unsure.

"Lucy, honey, we expect you back here within a week. Remember, you can call whenever you want, okay?" Lucy nodded with a tight smile. "Here, this is my cell phone number," she said, writing it on back of the Clinic's card. "If you ever, ever need to talk, I don't want you to hesitate at all," Mary instructed. 

"Thanks…" Lucy said, as they left.

Mary took Lucy to a Subway. Lucy order a turkey sub with tomatoes and onions and Mary ordered a veggie sub. 

"Thanks Mary," Lucy said.

"So, where do you go to school?"

"St. Lawrence. My parents are big Catholics," Lucy said, taking a sip of her soda.

"Mine were too. My dad is a Reverend," Mary said, rolling her eyes.

"Awe... Preacher's kid?"

"Yeah, the rebel one," Mary said with a laugh. "So do you have any siblings?"

"No," Lucy said. "How many do you have?" Mary cocked a brow until she remember telling her about Lucy.

"Well, there are seven kids… I have four brothers, two which you saw earlier and two sisters. They all live in Cali though," Mary said with a tight smile. 

"Is that where you are from?"

"Yeah…"

Mary dropped Lucy out, but stayed in the car like she was asked. She drove away with a tight smile and waved as the door open and she went inside. 

Okay, there's the end. Please review. 


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